I am feeling very emotional and teary tonight.
I had my antenatal appointment today, and as usual my blood pressure is still high.
The obstetrician I have been seeing at the hospital is lovely, today she explained to me that at my next appointment in a fortnight I will have to see the head of department to discuss my 'case' this scares me like you would not believe.
She advised me that it is likely I will be induced and have bubs early and that at the very least I will not be allowed to go over my due date.
I am so sad, I feel like I am already failing my baby before s/he even comes into this world, I don't want to have high blood pressure, I don't want mine and most importantly my babies health compromised by high blood pressure and I most certainly do not want to be induced. I know the complications associated with inductions, I know that a great deal of them end up in emergency caeseareans.
The most frustrating thing is that there is nothing I can do to eliminate my high blood pressure, it is out of my control. I honestly am relaxed, it is not a stress thing.
I guess it was invetiable that I was going to face this, given my strong family history. I just wish that there was something that I could do. I am prepared to do anything to ensure that our baby is born happy and healthy, I just wish there was more that I could do.
Monday, July 28, 2008
One More Week
I cannot believe as I sit here this morning that this is my last week of employment!
It is both unbelievably exciting and scary, time is going so quickly I just cannot believe that in 10w 3d I will be full term. The time has absolutely flown by.
I am going to miss work, I am going to miss my routine. I am such a creature of habit, I like to do the same thing at the same time each day and if my routine gets thrown out it takes me a bit to adjust.
I am thinking this is not such a good thing with bubby on the way, who will come into this world with their own agenda. I hope that after about 6 weeks of bubbies life we are able to form some form of routine.
I know this sounds silly but I am most worried about not being able to shower, yes i'm not scared of labour, just of spending the day in my pyjamas!
I have heard many new mothers saying how life with a newborn is so hectic that it gets to 5:00pm and they are still in their pyjamas! That honestly scares me. I am one of these people that the first thing I do in the morning is have a shower and do my hair, I am not sure how I will cope without that, I cannot function until I have had a shower and done my hair.
As I was doing my hair this morning, I was thinking that if I am not to tired when bubs comes along, I will get up in the morning with Cameron and as it only takes him all of 5 minutes to get ready at least he can be with bubs while I have a shower and do my hair.
This must sound rediculous to most people but I simply HAVE to shower, get dressed and do my hair before I can face the day!
At least if bubs is having an unsettled day and nothing else gets achieved I will be showered, dressed and have my hair done, I will have achieved something!
It is both unbelievably exciting and scary, time is going so quickly I just cannot believe that in 10w 3d I will be full term. The time has absolutely flown by.
I am going to miss work, I am going to miss my routine. I am such a creature of habit, I like to do the same thing at the same time each day and if my routine gets thrown out it takes me a bit to adjust.
I am thinking this is not such a good thing with bubby on the way, who will come into this world with their own agenda. I hope that after about 6 weeks of bubbies life we are able to form some form of routine.
I know this sounds silly but I am most worried about not being able to shower, yes i'm not scared of labour, just of spending the day in my pyjamas!
I have heard many new mothers saying how life with a newborn is so hectic that it gets to 5:00pm and they are still in their pyjamas! That honestly scares me. I am one of these people that the first thing I do in the morning is have a shower and do my hair, I am not sure how I will cope without that, I cannot function until I have had a shower and done my hair.
As I was doing my hair this morning, I was thinking that if I am not to tired when bubs comes along, I will get up in the morning with Cameron and as it only takes him all of 5 minutes to get ready at least he can be with bubs while I have a shower and do my hair.
This must sound rediculous to most people but I simply HAVE to shower, get dressed and do my hair before I can face the day!
At least if bubs is having an unsettled day and nothing else gets achieved I will be showered, dressed and have my hair done, I will have achieved something!
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Sick
Since Tuesday I have been quite sick with a chest infection.
I had Wednesday off of work and fully expected to be feeling better come Wednesday night, alas I was not.
On Thursday I was feeling even worse so I dragged myself off to the doctors, unfortunately my doctor was fully booked so I had to see another doctor, whom I have not seen before, I don't like doing that.
He was quite nice and seemed capable, he told me that I had a chest infection and prescribed me some antibiotics that were safe to take during pregnancy.
I went home and decided I was not going to take the antibiotics as I did not want to risk harming bubs and nothing can be 100% guaranteed safe.
By later in the afternoon I was feeling worse and bubs had been very quiet all day and for most of the previous day. I phoned the hospital and they told me that I sounded very unwell and suggested that I come in to have some CTG monitoring.
I phoned Mum and she drove down to come to the hospital with me, I guess I was a little worried.
When we got to the hospital the midwife first took my blood pressure, and secondly nearly fell over! My blood pressure was high enough that it was quite likely I could have a stroke or heart attack! This scared the you know what out of me! She advised me that I would not be going anywhere for the rest of the afternoon as she wanted my blood pressure monitored, she also took blood and urine to test for protein, which at this stage much to everyones amazement I still do not have pre eclempsia, I am assuming this is a good thing, although the high blood pressure is not.
She then hooked up the monitors for the CTG monitoring, of course as soon as she did that bubs started kicking up a storm, making me feel foolish for coming into the hospital, she was lovely though and said it is always better to err on the side of caution.
Bubs was montiored for about 1/2 an hour and both the doctor and the midwife were very happy with the reading.
I was kept in until about 7:30 that evening until my blood pressure had stabilised, I was then allowed home so long as I was to rest, Mum threatened to tie me to the lounge!
On Friday I was still not feeling any better so I gave in and filled my prescription for the antibiotics. It was clear that my body was just unable to fight this by myself.
I guess my body is working so hard to provide everything that bubs needs that I am just getting the left overs, which is by no means enough to fight an infection.
I was and still am so torn between not wanting to take the antibiotics as I don't want to to harm bubs, and wanting to take the antibiotics as it can't be good for bubs me being unwell for a prolonged period of time.
I am happy to report that I am now on the mend and feeling muh better, still not 100% but still much better.
However sitting here typing this I am feeling a little weak, probably buggered as I have been outside weeding, potting plants etc, I really need to slow down!
Work have been quite understanding and supportive, I just really didn't want them to think that I took half of last week off to use up my sick leave before I left, that is so far from the truth, I would much rather be at work feeling well than be at home feeling as miserable as I have been.
At least I am now on the mend, thank goodness!
I had Wednesday off of work and fully expected to be feeling better come Wednesday night, alas I was not.
On Thursday I was feeling even worse so I dragged myself off to the doctors, unfortunately my doctor was fully booked so I had to see another doctor, whom I have not seen before, I don't like doing that.
He was quite nice and seemed capable, he told me that I had a chest infection and prescribed me some antibiotics that were safe to take during pregnancy.
I went home and decided I was not going to take the antibiotics as I did not want to risk harming bubs and nothing can be 100% guaranteed safe.
By later in the afternoon I was feeling worse and bubs had been very quiet all day and for most of the previous day. I phoned the hospital and they told me that I sounded very unwell and suggested that I come in to have some CTG monitoring.
I phoned Mum and she drove down to come to the hospital with me, I guess I was a little worried.
When we got to the hospital the midwife first took my blood pressure, and secondly nearly fell over! My blood pressure was high enough that it was quite likely I could have a stroke or heart attack! This scared the you know what out of me! She advised me that I would not be going anywhere for the rest of the afternoon as she wanted my blood pressure monitored, she also took blood and urine to test for protein, which at this stage much to everyones amazement I still do not have pre eclempsia, I am assuming this is a good thing, although the high blood pressure is not.
She then hooked up the monitors for the CTG monitoring, of course as soon as she did that bubs started kicking up a storm, making me feel foolish for coming into the hospital, she was lovely though and said it is always better to err on the side of caution.
Bubs was montiored for about 1/2 an hour and both the doctor and the midwife were very happy with the reading.
I was kept in until about 7:30 that evening until my blood pressure had stabilised, I was then allowed home so long as I was to rest, Mum threatened to tie me to the lounge!
On Friday I was still not feeling any better so I gave in and filled my prescription for the antibiotics. It was clear that my body was just unable to fight this by myself.
I guess my body is working so hard to provide everything that bubs needs that I am just getting the left overs, which is by no means enough to fight an infection.
I was and still am so torn between not wanting to take the antibiotics as I don't want to to harm bubs, and wanting to take the antibiotics as it can't be good for bubs me being unwell for a prolonged period of time.
I am happy to report that I am now on the mend and feeling muh better, still not 100% but still much better.
However sitting here typing this I am feeling a little weak, probably buggered as I have been outside weeding, potting plants etc, I really need to slow down!
Work have been quite understanding and supportive, I just really didn't want them to think that I took half of last week off to use up my sick leave before I left, that is so far from the truth, I would much rather be at work feeling well than be at home feeling as miserable as I have been.
At least I am now on the mend, thank goodness!
3D/4D Scan
I have been incredibly slack in updating my blog lately.
I cannot believe it was 8 days ago that we had our 3D/4D scan and got to see our gorgeous bundle up there on the big screen.
It was just amazing, to see bubs in such detail was just mind blowing, we had some family come along with us (more about that after) and apparently bubs has my chin and little up turned nose, as my Mum put it!
As for having family come along, if I had my time again, I would have just had my Mum and my Nana, and as much as I love them I wouldn't have had my aunty and my SIL and my nephew come.
Cooper is too young to understand and was a bit naughty, and it took the moment away a little bit worrying about all these extra people instead of relaxing and enjoying seeing our little one again.
Cooper thought we were literally going to 'see' the baby which was a bit cute, and as we left the scan he asked me 'when me hold you baby Jesse?' was very cute, I had to explain to him that bubby wasn't ready to be born yet.
Bubs slept through the whole scan with no attempts to wake him/her succesful. It made for some very clear and excellent pics, however it would have been nice to see him/her moving around. At least we didn't get any unwanted flashes between bubs legs.
It appears that bubs favourite position is still kicking back with her/his arms up to their face, it will be interesting to see if this is still their favourite position when born. Bubs also drank quite a bit during the scan, it is just amazing to see.
I thought our scan would be the last time we saw bubs before s/he was in our arms, however according to fundal height I am measuring 4 weeks ahead so I am having a growth scan on the 5th of August, so we get to see bubs once more before I give birth to him/her.
I am certainly not complaining.
.
So please 'meet' the love of my life
I think this would have to be my favourite picture.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
3 Weeks To Go
Of work that is, I cannot believe that in three weeks I will be unemployed...
This is going to be a huge shock to me, I have been working non stop since I was 16 so the thought of being un-employed and not receiving a weekly wage absolutely terrifies me!
I think Cameron is excited about the next stage, and supporting us as a family while I am at home with bubs, that is fantastic but I am having a bit more of a difficult time adjusting to it. I am such an independent person and the thought of 'relying' on someone, even though I know it's not really relying but thats the only word I could think of, it really scares me.
The fact that I will be relying on Cameron to give me money, which I know he will do so happily, I guess I just never thought I'd be in that position, silly I know, but I pride myself on having worked and studied damn hard for everything I have, I have never asked anything of anyone, and it scares me that that is all about to change.
I was planning on working until the end of August, but due to my increasing blood pressure, and strong family history of pre-eclempsia which almost guarantees I will be going down that path, I have been asked to finish earlier.
Cameron wanted me to finish at the end of June, but that was just out of the question, I am going to go insane as it is, I am not the sort of person to sit around and do nothing.
At least I will still be studying, albeit one subject, but something to keep my brain active!
Enough about that!
Pregnancy wise apart from my blood pressure and the normal pregnancy ailments:
This is going to be a huge shock to me, I have been working non stop since I was 16 so the thought of being un-employed and not receiving a weekly wage absolutely terrifies me!
I think Cameron is excited about the next stage, and supporting us as a family while I am at home with bubs, that is fantastic but I am having a bit more of a difficult time adjusting to it. I am such an independent person and the thought of 'relying' on someone, even though I know it's not really relying but thats the only word I could think of, it really scares me.
The fact that I will be relying on Cameron to give me money, which I know he will do so happily, I guess I just never thought I'd be in that position, silly I know, but I pride myself on having worked and studied damn hard for everything I have, I have never asked anything of anyone, and it scares me that that is all about to change.
I was planning on working until the end of August, but due to my increasing blood pressure, and strong family history of pre-eclempsia which almost guarantees I will be going down that path, I have been asked to finish earlier.
Cameron wanted me to finish at the end of June, but that was just out of the question, I am going to go insane as it is, I am not the sort of person to sit around and do nothing.
At least I will still be studying, albeit one subject, but something to keep my brain active!
Enough about that!
Pregnancy wise apart from my blood pressure and the normal pregnancy ailments:
- Hip Pain
- Back Pain
- Reflux and heart burn
Everyting is going well, that was yesterday until I found my first two stretch marks! I have been using Bio Oil, apricot oil and Palmers Stretchmark Butter but it appears I have succumb to them! Oh well if that is the worst thing that happens I am doing well.
Bubs is generally quiet and laid back, doesn't like to expend to much energy, don't get me wrong I feel movement each day but not constantly.
However the last couple days bubs has been really active which I am loving, it is amazing to sit on the lounge with my feet up and watch my belly move as bubs is having fun wiggling around inside of me.
I am starting to relax into and really enjoy this whole experience, which I am so relieved about. It is just such an amazing time, however with each appointment I go to I am expecting to be told what are you doing here, you're not pregnant.
The whole experience sometimes just feels so surreal and I sometimes struggle to get my head around the enormity of it.
I cannot believe that next Friday we are having our 3d/4d scan! I can't wait to see our precious bundle again!
It is also so surreal that most likely the next time we see our bubs after the scan will be when s/he is in our arms! Only 12w 4d until my due date! My goodness time is flying!
That is however unless I have to have a growth scan as according to fundal height I am measuring 4 weeks ahead. However I am not to concerned about that as I know it is not the most accurate measurement. If I continue to measure ahead I think they want to do a scan to check bubs size.
That would explain why in the two weeks leading up to my last appointment I was feeling so huge and stretched, like I was going to pop, I grew 6cm in two weeks!
Well it is now 7:00am on Sunday morning and I am wide awake! I think I might go and have a shower and some brekky, I am hungry already!
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