Those 2 Pink Lines

Saturday January 26th

Happy Australia Day

Since Cameron and I started this journey to start our own little family I have constantly tried to tell myself that this isn’t what I want.

I mean come on I’m 21 I have my whole life ahead of me I have a job that I could quite easily travel overseas with, see the sights of the world and at the same time earn good money whilst doing so.

But you know when I seen that faint pink line yesterday I realised a few things, regardless of what I try and tell myself, this is what I want more than anything in the world.

This means more to me than any overseas trip, any promotion at work or any fancy car that money can buy.

I want to be a mother, I want to have the miracle that is life growing inside of me, I want to give birth to and raise and nurture our very own child, a perfect blend of Cameron and I (hopefully with his easygoing nature J)
I want to help shape the person that our child will become, provide them with all the love and guidance that I can.
I know this will be the most rewarding role I have played or will ever play in my life.

The thing about TTC that I struggle with is the control.

Every other aspect of my life I am in control of, my career, money, our relationship (by this I mean I can control parts of our relationship)

TTC on the other hand has been completely taken out of my hands, I cannot do anymore than try and prepare my body and look after my body so that I am able to nurture our baby as best I can.

When we are blessed with our baby I cannot control, the decision is out of my hands.

I just have to have faith that somebody, somewhere decides that we will make good parents and decides that it is our turn.